Relationships and pain.....

any a time I have questioned myself why do relationships hurt, be it a family , friends or love and few undefined relationships."Man is a knot into which relationships are tied"

Below mentioned lines from my diary always put ,me into deep thoughts.

"There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best."

I am a carefree person who damn care if anybody left me and went and I don't  give  a sigh . I would say they lose a best person in the world(Am quite headstrong huh Dont 't mind;)) .

Yeah its true, I just think if people try ignoring me I also neglect them.But its not the same with all Why is it?
For very few people I would turn back again and say a Hi again even after they leave me.Its for my family , and a few friends.Might be couple of them, who receive my attention.I don't wanna lose them.I don't care my ego self respect for them ,Shilpa , Loch , Najju and few more...I cant just don't go away from them and if any fight happens also I know I wouldn't let them go anytime.Now I am equally disturbed ad to losing some one who really means something to me just like my other friends.Sometimes feel I am disturbing and wanna leave everything as it is , but the void space in me keeps on taunting m, Its worthy to let it go off.Is the relationships worth more or the person who is lucky that I dont wanna lose them .Its my ego which says the persons is lucky but I know myself its the relationship worthy more than anything in the world.

But why dont people understand or is that they are confused souls , or is they look for profit in all relationship or the outcomes of any relationships.Why dont they understand whats the use in telling"I am sorry " and "I love you " when the other is in Coffin or almost telling GOOD BYE from heart .."Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin. "

I always speak my heart away .

Be it the worst also.I Confide with few people and Confess to whom I have done wrong. But Why it happens always the things and people I love the most hate me or go away from me .I haven't hurt anyone to that extent until they have but still ...Do I deserve negligence from people whom I love the most.....Be it my family or my friends..................

I am a person with big time attitude......Headstrong Egositic....but if am wrong I accept my mistake be it worst also....